Saturday, October 5, 2013

The fallen


Love changes a person. It also changes a person's view in life. 
I saw many friends fall under it. Love had changed them.
Some for better and some for worse.      Love can make smart people do stupid things.
Love can make a kind person go bitter.
In the end, it's just a matter of where love leads you.   
By saying that, i'm not going to make love as my main priority anymore.
Because from now on, i am my own person and i lead my own life.

The Aftermath.

I think in the end, love is really just a fickle thing.
You keep on hoping and wishing and needing it, only to lose yourself along the way.
I do believe in love, but right now i feel like love is not meant for me.
Not when the love that i had hoped for as my salvation had broken me, countless of times.
I also believe that first love should be a sweet experience and unforgettable.
Me, being a romantic is currently trying to preserve the sweetness of it, and try to swallow the bitter parts.
I find it being the hardest thing to do in life. Mending a broken heart. Building up a broken trust.
Love is truly a bitch.
How do you find true love, anyway?
I fear to find myself unable to receive but only giving love.
Still, I am without any doubt is always grateful to possess the love from a loving family, and the love from true friends. A few true friends.
It's just, seeing people happily in love, i find myself jealously wondering when will i be able to feel all that.
Will i ever be a part of all that?
Some say that I am desperate. Am I? Who wouldn't want to feel happy and in love?
Aside from being a helpless romantic, i am also a realist.
I know that being in love is not the answer to happiness in life.
I know that I should grow up and maybe be a better woman till the right time finally comes.
Waiting is just such a pain in the arse.



Friday, September 20, 2013

Blind.

Sometimes i wonder why i'm standing still.
Although i know very well that i should have move forward.
My friends called me crazy for being this way.
And I agree, i questioned myself why should i let myself be treated this way,or even put myself in this situation.
It's not like i am blind.
I know it's no good.
But you know how people talk carelessly about things they do not feel.
Things they do not understand.
They speak of things that they see without trying to put themselves in that person's place.
Only then, they will know why.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Persona.

It didn't matter what they wanted to see-
Instant Crush , Daft Punk.

It's hard to put up different fronts,
and changing it everyday,
You tend to forget who you really are sometimes.



Saturday, July 27, 2013

1st week of attachment @ law firm.

Here i am, gratefully survived the 1st week of my attachment student at a law firm.
(I already did my attachment at high court last year, now it's time to do it at law firm.)
In which i think is a good plan because i get to experience both worlds; on the bench and in front of the bench.


In short, i could only summarize my 1st week of attachment as ruthless.
It is so because i have to compete with 11 other attachment students from other unis.
True to what i had in mind, doing attachment in a bigger firm means more work, and variety of cases from many fields.
(My firm particularly focused on doing criminal cases, civil cases, and conveyancing. We have 4 criminal lawyers, 2 civil lawyers, and 1 conveyancing lawyer. Also, 1 paralegal which is surprise, surprise, my senior from uni.)
However, due to the huge number of workforce, at the end of the day i would only be able to do 2 or 3 kinds of work.
Which is kind of disappointing because if i had known this would happen, i would have chosen a smaller firm.
I just could not stand sitting in my cubicle even for 10 minutes doing nothing.
I never knew that i had this kind of traits in me, but i do now.


Granted, a chambering student kindly advised me to study my final year subjects instead of doing nothing, and i did so.
Still, it doesn't chase that lingering feeling of dissatisfaction away :/
It's the feeling of imagining something great will come your way, but you could only taste a bit of that greatness because you couldn't reach it far enough.
Nevertheless, i am almost proud to say that i could now open a photocopy business due to managing perfecting the skill.
Almost.


I think another factor as to why i did not receive as much work as other practical mates is because of my position.
The cubicles in the firm are aligned in a double straight line, and divided into departments.
I was placed at the conveyancing department, and when i asked the lawyer to give me some work, she said that they do not allow students to handle their documents because conveyancing deals with a lot of original documents.
So, they could not risk the chance of misplaced original documents due to delegated works to many people.
So, i am left with basically nothing to do.
The students at criminal department had to do hujahan balas, and stuffs. The students at civil departments had the most work with drafting letters and being delivery boy.
Syukur Alhamdulillah, the staff in front of me took pity on me when i begged her for work, and i finally got to do a bit of conveyancing thingies yesterday. 


Am i too naive to think that i would be the only person to be a student in a big firm?
Yes.
But i sure as hell did not expect to be a part of 12 students in that firm.
So, i am taking every chance that i have to grab myself some work there.
Thankfully, my fellow practical mates who are already doing their practical for two months kindly tutored me about some things that i do not know.
I went around each department and asked them to teach me what they had done that day :p
Even by not having any transportation has given me some disadvantage for not being able to do field work, i am still thankful because my fellow practical mates who have cars would offer us for carpool to go to court.
I think this is a blessing in disguise because i managed to gain more new friends.


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Ek Pal Ka Jeena (Full Song) - Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai




One of my mission in life is to master this dance.
I will and I shall.

Last payperr.

Tomorrow is the most awaited day for this semester,
The day of last payperrrr.
Tak sabar nak karaoke 3 jam muahahahahahahaha.
Telah ku sediakan list lagu nak karaoke.


Just now I complained to ayah about the difficulties i always had when facing accounting terms.


Because epic ayah is epic :)
I'm immune by now of his reference to me as Mr. Hart.
I'll try to watch that movie someday.